Creative, Resourceful and Whole
You have everything within…
Photo by Andrew Measham on Unsplash
Imagine if you could believe, as Carl Rogers did, that you are “naturally creative, resourceful and whole”1, just as you believe for your clients. If, as a coach who is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know you are not broken, and do not need to be fixed in some way. If you could shake off that feeling that there is something wrong with you. That you are flawed. Step out of the skin of shame forever and walk forward knowing you are already enough.
If, as we gracefully do for our clients, we believe the answers are inside us. If we trust our own judgement and instincts. If we let go of the conditions of worth bestowed on us when we were younger. The influence of society, and the things we carry around about how we are meant to be, which interfere with our true internal beliefs, and trust in ourselves instead.
If we could fully embrace and embody “naturally creative, resourceful and whole” as, not just a fundamental approach to professional coaching2, but as a way to treat ourselves as HSP Coaches. Believe we have the answers we need, ask ourselves instead of defaulting to others, respect our autonomy, what is right for us, our chosen direction, and empower ourselves.
Imagine that, and imagine this if you will…
Just like the continuous cycle of the seasons, I don’t really know when this story started. I just know that at some point, someone wrote a message in a bottle, and sent it on its way. With four important lessons safely tucked inside for us to find at the exact moment we needed the words unspoken.
The little glass bottle tried to wriggle. To push against the solid ice of the frozen pond where it was stuck. Wedged in the V of two branches from a stiff low hanging tree. A twiggy branch dangerously close to popping out the little cork. The threat of water smearing the contents within.
Maybe being like this isn’t such a bad option, the little bottle sighed, as he settled in, resigned to what was beyond his control.
As the days passed and frost crept round the little bottle’s neck, making pretty patterns, there was nowhere to go but inward. That was when the little bottle realised that he could see inside the scroll and read the first message, scratchy like Jack Frost, from Winter:
“This is your time to be still, to pause, breathe. Some calm and some quiet. To retreat, a moment of hibernation. To reduce the outside noise and go deep inside. Listen to your breath. That’s it. Sigh. Let it out.
But don’t be mistaken. There is still inner work to be done in the stillness. Contemplate what’s passed and lessons learnt. The wisdom and meaning. You need time for being as much as doing. You have everything you need inside”.
The little bottle felt something cold plop on his shoulder, the one sticking out at a funny angle. And again. Another tip tap. And another. A shiver skited up his neck.
Woah!
Out popped his other shoulder as the ice began to slowly thaw. One droplet at a time.
It will soon be time to re-emerge, I’m almost ready now, he felt it in the bubbles in his glass.
Some days later, the little bottle waved at the pretty snowdrops who shook their tiny white crocheted caps in farewell. The little bottle moved slowly as each crack zig zagged across the lake, and an early morning hungry fox leapt off to escape. Off he slid as the tentative spring sun rippled through the fresh clear water and caressed his sides.
On the way, crocus waved their golden yellow and purple flags, and daffodils trumpeted from brass frills as he bobbed past. In time, the bluebells rang as their fairy skirts danced to their tune. The little bottle smiled and fluttered the label tied around his neck as hope filled the air and off he paddled beginning to gather momentum.
CRACK!
His bottom hit some rocks. He felt a sharp shard break off and slip away swallowed greedily by an undercurrent. He held his breath.
Am I broken? Is my message safe inside?, panicked by the thought that he’d not delivered it yet.
He shivered dangerously against the sneaky rocks - a potential purpose unfulfilled. Something caught the little bottle’s attention. Has the snow returned? It didn’t smell icy and cold like snow. More like honey, sweet and fragrant, delicious. Almost translucent petals stuck to his sleek wet glass as they floated in a flurry. He looked like a little pale pink fish wearing a little coat of scales.
As the water sped up, twirling ripples washed the blossom away. The little bottle noticed the ink dancing in swirls on the scroll inside and the important message like shoots from Spring:
“This is your time for renewal, new life and new beginnings. The confetti I’ve sent you heralds your growth. Don’t be afraid to become who you are. Who you always were. To know yourself again. Awaken, unfold, believe in your potential for change. These insights will lead to new ways of being, ideas, and experiments.
But remember, for this to come it will require you to be vulnerable, brave and daring. You have everything you need inside - you are creative!”
The little bottle sparkled like fresh cut limes in the sun. Even the fish stopped to admire its emerald glow. The little bottle could feel himself emerging, bobbing along, picking up pace. The birds sang sweet songs that cheered the little bottle to keep going with his special mission.
Two very important messages already for me to protect, care for and deliver. I best be on my way, he called as he dipped and ducked under and out of the water, playing with the rapids that tickled his ears.
This is fun, he giggled and gurgled as he splashed happily along.
As the days got hotter the little bottle felt his cork expand and took comfort in knowing the very important messages he carried could come to no harm. He kept a watchful eye as last rains filled the river and he was swept quickly along. He felt hot as he absorbed the scorching sun and was grateful for each pause when swept nearer the riverbank, feeling the cool soil rock him gently.
It was blistering and the mud started to weirdly shrink. He realised he was lying on his side, his label wound around his head, like a little sun hat. The string crispy in the hot glare. He could just see the edge of the water which seemed to be tiptoeing further away day by day. It teased the dry cracked earth he now lay in.
Must I always get so stuck, he sighed to no-one in particular.
Try being an old can like me, a tinny voice shrill, giving the little bottle a fright causing him to jump and the scroll inside to unfurl.
At least you’ve got a stopper. My ring pull is long gone, and I keep filling up then drying out, I’ve been stuck at the bottom of this river for years.
Oh, felt the little bottle, that must be lonely, frustrating, and hard to bare.
Exactly, squeaked the can, how did you know?
Oh, I feel it inside, replied the little bottle, I just do.
That’s not the only thing inside you, nodded the can. There seems to be… a message? From… Summer?, he frowned.
Oh I can’t see, realised the little bottle as he tried to shake the label curled around his head.
Could you please read it to me? requested the little bottle.
The can cleared his throat, he could tell this was a very important message, and read with great care and attention the sunbeams from Summer:
“This is a time full of energy, abundance and nourishment. It’s a time for adventure, connection and expression. Experiment, try new ways, and thrive. You are full of imagination. Bring your wonderful ideas to fruition, don’t hold back. Let them loose! Become the change you have sought. Nurture the relationships that mean the most, see them bloom.
But don’t forget the importance of savouring what you have, appreciate your bounty! You have everything you need inside - you are resourceful!”
As the summer days passed, the old can and the little bottle became lifelong friends. Both ignoring the creeping sadness that this time would pass. Sure enough the rains returned and with them a sudden sweep away.
CRUNCH!
The little bottle bumped the can leaving a dent behind where the little bottle had touched him. And the little bottle noticed some of the red paint from the can had kissed his side. The dent and the paint were like little birthmarks shaped like hearts.
Take care my friend called the little bottle as he was sucked away by the pull of the river and the next adventure.
The noise got louder, like thunder, but not in the sky. The little bottle felt his glass judder and his label tug fiercely at his neck trying to hold him back from the danger ahead.
If we go down there we could smash on the rocks!
Fear seeped into the little bottle and he turned a deep dark swamp green. He tried to resist the tugging and pulling. It was as if the river was angry at him for being there as it bullied him roughly along. An exhausted tree nearby held onto the bank, its roots clinging on for dear life.
If only I had roots, squealed the little bottle, something to anchor me and keep me safe.
The leaves cascaded from the tree in whirlwinds around the bottle making him dizzy. He was tossed upside down, then the right way up, gasping. The red, gold and bronze of the trees now a blur.
Autumn is here, hollered the choppy water, and now you have to let gooooooo…
The little bottle gasped as he saw over the edge to what looked like a boiling spitting soup far far below. Spiky rocks like stalagmites threatened his load which suddenly felt very heavy to carry. Over he went with no choice but to fall, like the water churning before, behind and all around. The scroll unwound further and the message pressed against the glass. It was as if the little bottle was falling in slow motion as Autumn stripped things away and they became clear.
“Notice what you are grateful for and what no longer serves you. Leave behind what has held you back. Let go and let come. Make space for what’s next. Lighten your load. Take off the labels handed down without asking. Taken without questioning. Release limiting beliefs, unhelpful assumptions, expectations and shoulds.
But don’t get complacent, this is not enough on its own. Forgiveness can help untie the knot. Shake off the self-doubt. Get out of your own way. You have everything you need inside - you are whole!”
Suddenly the little bottle couldn’t see, hear or feel anything as he crashed through the torrent. Hitting the water below and going under fast and deep. Like a bungee jump, he suddenly started zooming upwards, everything rushing past him. Out he shot to a beautiful light, a cool calm and stillness. His ears popped and the incredible crashing sound of water was now muffled and in front of him like a velvet silver curtain creating a cocoon in the cave and pool he now found himself bathing in.
Twinkling sun rays caught the beautiful jade green of his glass making patterns on the cave walls. And with that he noticed his label had been flung off and was floating towards the waterfall. The little bottle just caught sight of the words curled on each side before the label was sucked back under the waterfall never to be seen again.
Drink me. Poison, wHiSPered the little bottle. Definitely a label he didn’t need.
The words held safely inside him were like medicine from the seasons. Much better for him and for healing. Just like the crystal water he now floated in, the message from the past year was clear to the little bottle.
Finding things hard doesn’t make me stuck forever, I can make new connections to move forward, and I’m not broken because of a chip or a label someone else gave me.
I am creative, resourceful and whole!
Always be vulnerable, brave and daring!
Sensitively,
Gentle Gillian x
#GentleGillian
Reflective Questions for You:
Gather up your favourite journal, slowly pour a drink from a bottle or can. Perhaps find your favourite spot, curl up, and ponder these questions, getting curious:
Which messages resonated for you? What are these revealing?
What do you need to release to believe you are creative, resourceful and whole?
Who will you connect with to help you to find what you seek?
Bonus activity: Write your own message in a bottle. What are the words you know you need to hold dear through each season ahead? Tie them up with a ribbon, and pop your little scroll in a bottle! As each season begins, read the words you sent yourself, and in a year notice what happened next…
Originating with Carl Rogers, founder of the humanistic approach to psychology, in the 1960s, the idea of “naturally creative, resourceful and whole (NCRW)” has become fundamental to professional coaching. NCRW is a way to approach a coaching client, believing they have their own answers and we are not here to give advice or fix them.
Rogers, Carl (2020) Client-Centred Therapy, 70th Anniversary Edition, Constable & Company Ltd.
People are “naturally creative, resourceful and whole”, is one of the cornerstones of the Co-Active Training Institute’s Co-Active coaching model, to address the ‘fix it’ culture we have in the world today. A world which believes there are things to be fixed including other people.
What a unique take on the seasons! And your question really made me think - what if we believed that all the things we say to reassure and encourage others were true for us too?
I liked the personification of the bottle. Thank you for sharing your writing.